I Can Do Things That Are Hard

Day 28
ibuprofen: 400mg
25 days until trithalon

Tonight was a "brick" workout, one where we do more than one event back to back. I am not sure why it is called a brick...maybe because it feels like you are hauling around a load of bricks by the time you get home, perhaps to reduce the load of bricks I already have in my backside! So we are there, on bike trainers by the side of the track so we can hop off them (well, "hop" might be too strong a word) and run. One of our Fearless Leaders is doing it like a spinning class, where we do intervals every now and again. He says to imagine that something is chasing me. By the end, I am convinced that I would be eaten by hyenas on the veldt. But then I got off the bike for the last time, and I wish I had timed it - I really felt like I was walking faster than I had been earlier in the evening, even though I was tired. It was like the body was in the mode of going faster and just kept going.

The real fun came, however, while we were stretching out and doing some core work. Our other Fearless Leader is encouraging us to do push-ups. Push-ups? But I am a wimp, I think to myself. "Try for 15!" she says. "I think I'll try for two!" I reply. So I do two. I do three. By the time I get to ten, it's getting sort of pretty hard. But...I can do things that are hard, I think to myself. It just sort of popped in there. I hung in there and did 15 push-ups.

I can do things that are hard.

The real change I have observed in myself through this training is in how I think of myself and what I am capable of. I could probably go out there and have gastric bypass surgery or something and lose a hundred pounds....but I would bet money that even after all of that, I would still think of myself as a large, non-athletic person. This is slow, and the changes are not really huge so far (though things are changing! yippeee!), but it's giving me time to work on the inside, on how I think of and see myself. I did not really think it was possible for me to experience this sort of fundamental shift in self-perception, but...it's happening. I see it. I feel it, and at these moments of effort, it comes through.

I really can....do things that are hard.