It's the Mental Stuff That Hangs Me Up

Day 40
ibuprofen: 600mg so far
13 days until triathlon

Yesterday, we did a race simulation at a local lake and surrounding area. We swam what should have been a fairly short and doable distance, then did the transition to riding, then to running/walking. I had an asthma attack shortly after I got in the water, so that just made everything a struggle. It was frightening, and since I think the attack was brought on by anxiety in the first place, it just made it all that much harder. It takes a lot of focus to purposely slow your breathing down and get in a calmer space! Thank God, very literally, for my "anti-drowning patrol!" I didn't even really realize it at first, but several of my more-able teammates took it in turns to swim alongside me (slowly!) and keep me focused. I felt embarassed at first and then very thankful for all of you for making sure I was safe and able to complete the workout. You are angels! And a huge thanks also to the one who remembered her inhaler when I did not....!

For all that struggle, I am really glad to have gone through that day. I imagine there will be people who show up at the race who have not really gone through the whole checklist of what to bring with them, who have not tried going from one event to the next, and it's going to be hard for them. I'm glad to have the mental preparation.

And you know, so very much of all of this is the mental stuff. We can make our bodies do all kinds of things, if we are prepared mentally. We can push and push and get where we need to go, and it's a lot easier if we know what to expect, how it's going to feel, and what lies ahead. That is what I have a hard time with, and that is what this training is helping me do. We are going to rehearse again next weekend, and then it's The Big Day. I get nervous just thinking about it, but hopefully a couple of more open-water swims and another race simulation will help me get it all ready in my mind, so I can then push my body to come along.

And I've already added "asthma meds!" to my checklist of stuff to bring!